eyes wide open can’t see a thing missing you more than life
its self eyes wide open looking everywhere Eyes wide open god himself couldn't
save me Eyes wide open still blind and can not see Looking everywhere still not
finding what I seek Lookin looking but nothing to see In this hell I live
nobody can find me As I write this I Can’t even cry Missing you more than words
can ever say Eyes wide open hating this feeling I have every single day. Loving
my hate hating my love so damn confused doesn’t know what else to do. Is it my
time to die or live? When will I know what freedom really is If is truth I don’t want to know. Hating my
life and wanting no more Eyes wide open ready to go Heaven or Hell I do not
know. Eyes wide open looking for you missing you more than you will ever know.
Eyes wide open still blind to everything Living life to its fullest extent only
god can save me now. Eyes wide open to truth you have always told. Missing
missing everything I left behind wanting to go back in time and undo the past.
Knowing full well it can’t be done. Hating myself for ever letting go. Missing
the life I wanted Being suck in this hell No one can understand not even
you.Not even god knows all that I have been thru. Loving you so much I cant
explain cant put into words all that I feel. All the pain and all the hurt I
have been thru all for you Never ever want to loose you again will go to the
end of the earth just to be near you. My life will be over if I loose you
again. Just want to be you friend if thats all I can do. I want so much more
but dont want push you away. Hating how I feel right now hating that I wanna
cry hating that I wanna cut and die. These thoughts in my head are really
starting to scare me. I know how you feel about everything I have ever done.
Sometimes I wish I had never been born. The darkness is overwhelming so much
its not even funny Hating my life right now wishing everything was different.
Having no control over what I write and do. Hating every minute without you.
Needing you by my side more than I can ever say. Needing to take this knife
from my hands so I dont do something stupid. Wanting needing are not my things.
Hating this needing feeling I have wishing I could never feel again. Cutting
and feeling no pain is not a good sign. Wanting wishing never to feel again.
waiting wanting for this to end not liking what I am writing. Wanting wanting
so much more than hating everything I have Time to end this end this all not
wanting to give up but what else can I do?
Eyes wide open
hating the way you made me feel one of these days you will see the truth. One
of these days we will all know the truth of why I am the way I am. Eyes wide
open cause I am scared to sleep Never ever again will I fall. No one can save
me from my own hell Have to keep going to find the truth in all the lies I have
been told. Eyes wide open to the face that everyone has lied to me.Crying
harder now than ever before trying to resists the urges running thru my head,
Trying to put this damn knife down. Even you cant see my total pain. Eyes wide
open to the rawness I do not like. Would rather die than feel this way again.
Cant take much more of this pain I feel wanting it to end right now. No more
tears no more sorrow no more pain ever again Curse you for making me feel this
way Wondering why do I do this to myself wanting answers I never will get Eyes
wide open to why I had all those walls up. Feeling shit I never wanted to feel.
Hearing shit I never wanted to hear Learning shit I never wanted to learn Eyes
wide open to the fact I will never be normal never ever be like everyone else
in the world always going to be alone. Crazy and looney that is me by default
hating it but knowing its fact Feeling the cold steel against my skin what a
release it can bring. Eyes wide open to how I will die. God only knows what can
save me. Wanting to escape this hell called life not wanting to die but don’t
know what else is there. Don’t know if I can wait till Oct to find out the
truth wanting to find these answers that will haunt me till I am gone. Always
know that I loved you and have never been right minded. Eyes wide open to the
fact of death coming soon Eyes wide open not caring anymore Eyes wide open wanting to
run Eyes wide open to all the pain I feel Getting closer every day to the end
Eyes wide
open
Here we go
again
Round and
round I go
Fighting and
fighting forever more.
This time is
the last time I will do this again!
Can't bear
the pain any more
Eyes wide
open
That my
death is very near
Yes I am
ready to go
Wanting and waiting
for my life to change
Knowing
while hoping it NEVER will
Eyes wide
open
As I fall
asleep one last time
Even you couldn’t
save me this time
I am so
sorry for everything I put you thru
Hope one day
you can forgive as I have you
Eyes wide
open
As its time
for me to say goodbye
Eyes wide open to all the pain I have
caused. More and more every single day. These words can’t explain the guilt I
feel. One more time one more dime one more cut one more bleed. Eyes wide open
to the things that need to change. Happiness is not a dream but can
be real. Over and over everyone tells me so. That I must leave the
darkness I so fondly love. That I must enter the light to save my
soul.
Eyes wide open to what my heart is telling me. You and I
where never meant to be. I am sorry to say it this way I can’t lie to you
or myself anymore. I must embrace the truth. You were my first and always will
be but its time I move on. Can’t keep up this act anymore. Eyes wide open to
the truth, what I need is not what I want. I am no hero to these kids but I
will not give up on them either or their father. Eyes wide open to knowing this
is not what you want to hear. I will always love you my dear. Eyes wide open to
the fact you want to know why. I feel we have drifted apart once again. So
tired to trying to stay "afloat" to stay with you and him, I can’t
tell the lies anymore that I have to, to keep him happy. Why must I lie because
he hates you so. For everything you did. Eyes wide open to the fact that even
as I write this line I wish I was with you. AAHHHH can’t deal with this shit
much more. Eyes wide open to how I feel. I need someone to come save me, save
me now. Save me from myself once again. The end is HERE!
Eyes wide open to the double life I am living. Hating what I have done and become. Still
searching for who I am and where I am from.
Eyes
wide open to my darkened soul. Ready to
fight for what and whom I love. I would kill to save them all. Yet I fear what I must save them from most is
my own crazy self. How to stop the
madness I will never know. Wanting, needing help that I will never find. Seeing, feeling that the end is near. Am I
crazy or is it the world we live in today?
Making up story’s just to save our own face. Lying, cheating and stealing have become the
norm. Since when has honesty become taboo? Hate everything and care about
nothing not even my own life. Wanting to
end it all but finding I cant. Even as I
write these words I don’t know what is going to come out next. I am in a place
where life and death have no meaning and they have become one with each
other. Wondering when will it change
again. Missing what I think was love. Now only knowing pain and fear. I find myself ready but don’t know what is
keeping me here.
