Birthdays

Ugh I have four birthdays in four months. Talk about being broke! A 9,8,7 and 3 yr old. I will be soooo caked out its not even funny. Happy b-day monsters!

Sneaky

Its very sneaky almost to the point you don't notice it till its too late. Then boom it hits you full force.  The overwhelming sadness it brings. I wish I could have the friends I have lost back. I wish I could have my half sister that I never even got to met back. I wish I had a lot that I have lost back.

Lost

Well do to my other half and his lying I lost a friend today. Grrr

Language

If you are really wanting to read what I have written in Galician you can go to Google.com and click translate. then copy and past for English

I have to tell you the truth

With everything that happened with DCF's I am truly sorry. I know I said my neighbors told Mark to call the police but I later found out he lied to me and to you. He really wanted you to go away for along time. He is still pisses off at you so please stop coming by, at least when I am not home. MWF its not safe for you to come by with out me being there. I care about you please be careful.

A message

Eu espero que un día, cando todo isto é alguén vai ler isto e entender. Ninguén sabe todo o que fixo para min. É por iso que rezar para que mija fóra alguén como Chandler e dar unha malleira nel. Sei que quería, cando a empuxou. Se soubese a metade do que fixo, que non ten un rexistro policial para. Hai! Vostede proably tería lanzado nel e despois. As contusións Eu sempre fun capaz de ocultar. El sempre parece sentirse moito despois que ve o que fixo. Eu non sei máis que facer. Excepto rezar para que mija fóra a persoa errada.

 

In English and fixed:
I hope that one day, when this is all anyone will read this and understand. No one knows everything you did for me. That's why you pray for someone like Chandler and I will  take a beating on it. I know you wanted to kill him  when pushed her. If you knew half of what he did, you do not have a police record. ! You probably would have killed him if you knew the half of it. The bruises I've always been able to hide.

Grr

Chandler Reed precisa estar outta meus soños. Vostede está me deixando tolo agora. Eu non sei como deixar de invadir miña cabeza. GRR ¿Como deixar isto? Parece tolemia, eu sei. O meu corazón acelera cada vez que está preto. Eu teño ataques de pánico cando vexo ti. Eu só quería que o día que tivo que arma no seu coche, que tería só tirou e conseguiu acabar con iso. Non por mor do que fai para min, pero o que fixo para Amanda. Eu nunca vou esquecer aquel día que tiña tanto medo del.

I know

Sei que é malo. Eu sei que eu non debería sentirme así. Eu sei o que quero facer é moi malo. Eu só non podo axudar máis. Para sentir o xeito que eu fago, vivir a forma que eu vivo e chorar por máis que eu chorar. A morte é a única saída que parece. Pero eu podería realmente facer iso coa miña familia ea miña nai?

In English:

I know it's bad. I know I should not feel that way. I know what I do is very bad. I just can not help more. To feel the way I do, to live the way I live and cry more than I cry. Death is the only way it seems. But I could really do this with my family and my mother?

How?

How do you have the strength to pray for some one that does not want it?
How do you get your faith alive when all you see is failure?
How can I forgive and forget if he can't?
How can I keep living in this situation?
How can I be strong for my kids when all I see and hear is wrong?

Tired

Estou canso de sentirse tan entorpecido e frío. Todo o tempo eu me sinto así, e eu odio iso. Eu quero ser capaz de expresar o meu propio sen ocultar a truth.There son momentos que quero morrer ou fuxir. Eu non podo ter máis diso. Axuda por favor

none

Só me matar

Counfused?

I write to get things outta my head and heart. So some things are now in a different language...just because I wanted to.

SP

Eu sempre me pregunta o que o meu verdadeiro apelido era. Eu descubrín que é Pitvorec e eu adoro iso. Familia sempre foi algo próximo e querido para o meu corazón. Eu tamén descubrín que a miña media irmá se matou. Deus, me gustaría ter polo menos a coñecín. Sara, por que deixar este mundo tan cedo? Eu nunca souben que, pero eu tería gusto de ti. Si, eu teño pensado sobre sucide min antes, pero son feliz na maior parte eu aínda estou aquí.

God help him

Aquí vai. Queres dicir a verdade sen realmente dicir iso. Chandler Eu non sei o que facer con vostede. Me ferro-se gran momento. Sempre nos meus pensamentos que me deixa tolo. Eu me importa con vostede e eu teño un sentimento malo que vai facer algo realmente estúpido. Por favor, non facer o que está a pensar.

The obit for my half sister

Junior remembered for dancing, kindness

Pads nightly list

                                                                      DuPage County PADS

Monday nights: Bloomingdale, Wheaton, Downers Grove
Tuesday nights: Downers Grove, Itasca, Lombard
Wednesday nights: Carol Stream, Lombard, Napervile
Thursday nights: West Chicago, Glenn Ellyn,  Napervile
Friday nights: Downers Grove, Wood Dale, Villa Park
***Saturday: St. Luke Presbyterian, 3910 highland Ave, Downers Grove. Open 1-6 pm ONLY
Saturday night: Villa park, Elmhurst, Clarendon Hills
***Sunday: Welcome Center (The Warming Site) at First United Methodist Church 424 Forest in Glen Ellyn (corner of Forest & Duane) Opens November 1st at 1:30pm
Sunday night: Napervile, Glenn Ellyn, Lombard


                                                                     Here is  PADS official website

Tuesday nights

Tuesday nights were really not eventful unless it was the one time a month when the vegetarians  came and made dinner. Boy that is the one night nobody wanted to eat. They made spaghetti five alarm style. Not fun and for lunch veggie sandwiches. The next major trick was figgureing out where you wanted to go for Wednesday night.  Hard because the sites are really far apart.  Carol Stream, Lombard and Napervile where the locations available. Ours was Lombard because there is a bus and no cars allowed, which always was is a good thing.

Here

Sitting here waiting for class to start listening to FFDP thinking of you of course. Grrr I know I should not be but again you wont get outta my head. S.A.S, C.S.B and C.S.R!

Learning

I have deiced to learn Gaelic along with studying for my Desktop Publishing cert.

One more time

Again you are back haunting me WTF?  I cant handle much more of this so quit already

I wish you would

I wish you would have told me what was wrong when you came to the house. I know it was not just for a couple sodas. I had never heard you sigh so much... I would of asked if Mark had not been there. He still is not sure of your motives. I wonder is that why you pulled over at the park?? Was to talk?? FYI I am ak Lake land MWF all day Web Hall come find me if you need.

Giolcach

I so want to be a Giolcach its not even funny. Muintireans everything and nothing to me. Also a ainm is just another focal. No meaning.