Wanting

Wanting the freedom I have earned
Wanting the safety I was promised so long ago
Wanting for you to understand
Wanting to try again but fearing that you have pushed me to far away
Wanting to come home but still am afraid of what may happen
Wanting you to understand what you have done to me
Wanting you to understand what you have made me do.

Hells fire

As I sit here I can see the fire in your eyes. Hell fire....hotter than what you walked thru. Hell fire what you went thru as a boy in this life time and I am sure other life's as well. It burns bright as the night stars....You are looking for someone, not however your long lost love but someone more to you deeper the connection.  I sit here watching you feeling your hunger almost to find this soul....

Cry

Tired of my kids being in pain cause of there father. Hating that I have to have him drag them away crying because I cant go with them. Yet when I am there its like they hate me. So tired of feeling alone in this world even though I know I am not. Not sure what I am supoosed to do anymore and hating every minute of it. Wanting so much to change mine and my kids life but have no clue how. Yes getting rid of him would be a great first step but....they love him to death. No matter what he does/says to them they dont want him to leave them. So I am stuck I dont want to be with him anymore and cant take them away from him. Plus I want to be with them kids I do love them.....Hating this place I have firmly rooted myself into. Someone please help me I am tired of hurting. TIred of being the only one in my family trying to save my family. I have outside help but HE dont wanna hear anything anyone else has to say.