Pain

I sit here in awe of my own stupidity....and of your strength. It must take one hell of a human being let alone a man to forgive me after the way I have hurt you over the last several months. Yes without knowing it but still for you to say "shit happens" like its no big thing?!?!? I hope my boys grow up to be like you.

Torn

Torn
I am torn between two worlds
I am torn between two lives
I am torn between two realities
I am torn between two homes
I am torn between two places where I am supposed to be.
One place is here with you Master not cause I owe you or anything like that its cause I love you And cause I love you I would do  just about anything for you. I know you dont feel the same and probably never will and thats ok with me.
The second place I lost partly cause of my greed, Southpark. You were right all along I should have fought harder to keep my family. I should have tried harder and now I fear its too late.
One more thing to say as if to give myself a weak a feeble excuse is this me leaving you felt/feels like I am betraying you to the very core.
Please understand now what happened today.
I love you Master always

Storm

Thru the rain and the storms I call to thee. Wanting my voice to be heard once again hoping this time by the right people. I wait for you arrival that never happens, life failed me once again. Even though I can see you n hear you, you can't hear me. I cry out for you louder than ever praying my voice in one way shape or form reaches you. Either audible or in my mind I pray you hear me or at least see me. Cause I know if you see me you know there is trouble coming. I am trying to warn you of the HUGE trap you are once again walking into. Why why why again and again do you repeat this bit of your life. You will never be able to rest and/or move on! 13th life means nothing if it NEVER ends and it wont cause you wont/cant stop repeating history damn it.