Pissed off!

Ok I have a friend here in the states that is dying. He has MS and maybe two months to live. All cause our government wont allow the cure here. WTF is that all about? They haven't figured out how to get money outta this or something??

Death and Love

If you were dying would you want to know? Would you tell anyone? Would you do anything differently? Maybe more brave? Cause fear can be stopped ya know. It is a feeling just like love and hunger pain and cold. I may say I love someone but to be honest I don't think I really do fell it, its just something you say. So I would not tell anyone if I was dying and just slip peacefully into the night.

Dreams

Giolcach this is for you.

As the last bit of the dream fades from my  memory I think to my self...Maybe that what dreams are. Little peaks of how our lives are supposed to be. Trying to say to ourselfs hey we fucked up here time to fix this.  How is that for psychology for ya? PS get outta me head!

Time

There is a fear in me, saying its time I leave this earth. Yet I dont wanna leave. I wanna stay for once starting to be happy again. Things in my life are looking up. Yet there is this fear that I can not shake. I dont wanna go no no no. Why cant I shake this feeling?? I always take the fall for everyone around me. I lived in pain and had no shame. Now things are changing for the better. I will make the rules and sleep once again!

The storm

The incoming storm calms yet excites me. I crave the caos it brings. Yes there is a certin fear here cause storms can be deadly. I love the cleaning that comes with the storm, the rain washes away everything. Good or bad gets washed away never to be seen again. Yes I love them storms.

Drummer

I march to the beat of a different drummer. You all say I am weird crazy/ strange. I dont think so. I have been this way my whole lfie. I wil never change who I am and what I am. I will do what I do when I do it. I will say what I want when I want. So kiss off if you dont like it!

Cutting

Ok I am a cutter. I will admit that but there are two things I need to say about it. One I havent done it in two weeks. Number two my biggest thing as well. I dont do it to be cool. I am NOT and emo of what ever the fuck they are calling it now a days. So dont think I do it to be cool.