The worst day in a long time

This has been one of the worst days in my house in YEARS. I am no kidding. First I woke thinking its gonna be a bad day. Second Mark goes and buys a tv (which is fine) but as soon as he gets home the cops shop up. Saying that Mark used the "n" word toward a child in our block. They didnt even bother to check with my son who was with at the time and just booked him. When he got home we deceded to go to the park. Right off the bat our daught runs into a toy and gets hurt. Then not 5 mins later Codi falls off the low monkey bars hitting his neck and side of his jaw on them. Huge black and blue mark. UGH!

I know I walk alone

I know I walk alone
I  chose this path of misery and hate.
I know I walk alone
I know there is no such thing as a lone christian
.What I am I do not know. My faith has become more trials then blessings it seams.
I know I walk alone
I know I have chosen this route and where it will lead me that I am un-sure of.
I know that I must have faith but its hard to have faith in the un-seen.
I know I walk alone
I walk everywhere looking for signs of hope and life and all I see is pain and suffering.
Disregard for the rules set by man and God alone.
I know I walk alone
One day I hope to see and know the truth in my heart and soul.
But for know I know I walk alone.

Pissed off!

Ok I have a friend here in the states that is dying. He has MS and maybe two months to live. All cause our government wont allow the cure here. WTF is that all about? They haven't figured out how to get money outta this or something??

Death and Love

If you were dying would you want to know? Would you tell anyone? Would you do anything differently? Maybe more brave? Cause fear can be stopped ya know. It is a feeling just like love and hunger pain and cold. I may say I love someone but to be honest I don't think I really do fell it, its just something you say. So I would not tell anyone if I was dying and just slip peacefully into the night.

Dreams

Giolcach this is for you.

As the last bit of the dream fades from my  memory I think to my self...Maybe that what dreams are. Little peaks of how our lives are supposed to be. Trying to say to ourselfs hey we fucked up here time to fix this.  How is that for psychology for ya? PS get outta me head!

Time

There is a fear in me, saying its time I leave this earth. Yet I dont wanna leave. I wanna stay for once starting to be happy again. Things in my life are looking up. Yet there is this fear that I can not shake. I dont wanna go no no no. Why cant I shake this feeling?? I always take the fall for everyone around me. I lived in pain and had no shame. Now things are changing for the better. I will make the rules and sleep once again!

The storm

The incoming storm calms yet excites me. I crave the caos it brings. Yes there is a certin fear here cause storms can be deadly. I love the cleaning that comes with the storm, the rain washes away everything. Good or bad gets washed away never to be seen again. Yes I love them storms.