Test time

Every minute of every waking hour is test time with you. I think I have passed all that you have thrown at me, and I am ready and waiting for the next.

Sins of the father

The sins of the father come back 3 fold. In my case like father like daughter. I killed my mom (not physically but am getting blamed for her death) by choosing what I did, and now my childeren suffer. And my father hurt my mother so its come around again. My wish is my childern can break this cycle. If I had not sworn at oath to my friend who shall re-main nameless (he knows who he is) I'd be dead right now. I hate what I did and why I did it. Crying is a sign of WEAKNESS and I need to end it now. I want to die.

No sleep needed

As the hour of the night increases so does panic's grip on me. I know what is coming with in my dreams...the pain, the hurt, the fear and death. I do not want these visions in my sleep anymore and yet I cant shake em either. I know I have them for a reason if not to see into you better to understand your silence. I know these things to be true deep with in my soul. I fear what I see coming for it is our end. The later it gets the stronger they become, so I must fight the urge to sleep every night. You say I need sleep and not try to keep up with you but you don't understand....I stay up as long as I can for when I do fall out I don't dream. I don't want to anymore dream that is. So tired f seeing the pain stricken in your eyes. So tired of seeing the hurt in your mind. Hating all the would and have done this to you. A good solider does not dream and I am that solider.

What I see

If you could see what I see in my head I think you'd run screaming far away. For I know I would if I could. I see the changes in you NO one else can see. I see you in my dreams in pain more now then ever. I don't want to dream anymore some how a wall was taken down that was not supposed to come down, not liking it at all. I see more than I should be you and I agree on this totally so my question is who un-did this wall and why?

PAIN

Seeing you in this amount of pain yet again...I know there is nothing I can do either. I hate this shit you are being put thru because you care so much for these people who time after time stab you in the back. A part of me right now wants to take the shit she left behind and make a bon-fire outta the shit just for a tad bit of payback on her ass. I know you would say no but I cant stand to see you in this much pain. It's almost as bad as watching you die again.

Good day to die

Like an army marching into war, we advance upon our enemy. Even if that enemy has not yet been made clear, we march. Ready to make the ultimate sacrifice of life and death. To give our selfs for the greater good. Today is a good day to die is our motto showing we have no fear in our hearts, minds and souls. I am ready to follow my master into battle any day any night. I am ready for this fight and will do all that I have to do to win this battle. For today is a good day to die.

Choices

I finaly put my foot down and made what I thought was a good choice. Now just about everyone is pissed off at me. I choose to leave cause I saw no other way out. Now I have to live with what I did. Yes I would do it again so........