It's in the past

Yeah only when it's your fuck up but if it's mine oh no it's forgiven but not forgotten. IIts never in the past cause we ain't learned from it so we still live it....over & over again

Sight

Master oh master....why, why are you so stubborn? When we first met up in this life time I had "turned off" my sight. N boy I was so glad and had worked so hard at it too, you WILL never know. But alias just a few days after meeting you it's back & with a vengeance. But why did you bring it back and not only that encourage me to use it plus speak on my sights? Why if just for you to ignore? From day one (yes I'll admit park of me didn't want you to leave but that was cause I knew what I'd be missing 😍❤️xxx 😈) but still I wish you had listened. I called as I barely knew the 3 main excuses you would use not to get on that plane 🇦🇺. Still you did not listen even as what I said came to be. Hell had you gone Crystal would have joined you within the year and she'd be safe under your wings again. I never would have started working you blame yourself for. A lot people's lives would have been VERY different.

Stupid talk

Don't know why I ever accepted that line "stupid talk" as an excuse, but no more. I have way forgive you but will never forget. 

Every time....harder

It gets harder every fucking time. I already wanna rip my hair outta my head for the he'll you go thru. It gets harder every time just to say goodnight n see you in the morning. It hurts so bloody bad, but I can not show my pain. That goes for all of you!

The Siegalls

freak out

Well my oldest is going thru what hopefully will turn out to be just a scare. But reguardless it will be the scare of her& my lifetime. We went to er yesterday to find out at the very least she has a cyst on her breast. Yeah....

Vision

I've had this vision for awhile now....We are not done yet. Yes there will be a spilting of our paths (ways), but we shall meet again. When or where I could not begin to guess.  To be continued in Guardian.

Game time

Name of the game is....How much more can I loose my mind??? Think Im playing... I can almost see/feel myself spin further & further out control. But I can't decide if I like this ride yet or not....TBD 

Me

Someone please he honest with me here n now....am I really that horable of a person? To where all my so called family n friends just turn there back on me? 

Master Wolf

It hurts me to see you hurt as you do. Physical and emotional pain. Anyone that knows you knows how much you would love to be living with Crystal right now. The few you allow to see your pain. We the few also know how much you want the physical pain to end. Soon Master soon.

Internal war

Again I find myself at war....with whom you may ask. LOL My self yes I am once again at war with myself. Engage yet again in another internal war. God how I hate these. Im hopelessly deadlocked in this good for nothing NEVER ending war. Somebody save me please. I hate it I hate it I hate it! And with that very admission I have to add a almost darker one. Yes I hate this war but in hating it I also must hate myself, no? I find myself being torn between a fear (where said fear comes from, no clue) and also a kinda desire. I want what I fear to happen. Which makes no sense to me I swear. So my mind wanders back to where the same thing may have been happening before. My wants and fears being the same that is. Dr Scott A. Siegall M.D. said to me that the reason I was sabotaging my life, giving up everything (family & home) to be with this Ja-Ho aka Mark was because I secretly wanted to be living in the shelters. I had a weird curiosity to experience it. So coming back to the present I guess I am having that same wanting again (not to be homeless). And so I am doing stupid sh** the exact sh** I yell at poor Master Wolf for doing all the damn time. Its cause I want to be/go where he has been...jail/prison I dont think it would matter which. Now besides this desire of "walking in his shoes" there is a second reason to do this. Could be simply just to say been there done that or maybe just maybe to show the nay sayers I could and while doing it I could also keep my trap shut!

The Calm

It appears calm and serine..... but very few can feel what is lurking just outta sight. Hiding almost in plan sight. They feel the change coming before it arrives. They taste the iron metallic taste of the blood that has yet to flow. They see the bolts of lightning before they are thrown. And they can smell the coming rain before the first drop falls. Yes we can sense the "calm before the storm" but can you? 

Chosen 2

Tornado

I'm caught in the middle of one too many worlds one too many lifes. An erie calm comes over me outside a raging storm that grows within. The term " comfortably numb"  is a false hope. We do everything and anything we can to become comfortably numb. We do what we do to block out phycal pain ie work, drink and pills. Only once we gain a numbness from this phycal do we become aware of the internal pain or mental pain. And that pain my friends nothing not illegal drugs, legal drugs, booze nothig can touch that pain. Well nothing expect death its self. Yes I said death the Grimm reaper himself. And those that have been caught all to long in the ever raging storm we cry unto him PLEASE TAKE ME NOW! And yet despite our begging and pleading he despites us. He sits just outta reach in the dark corner watching waiting, buying his time.

Pain

I sit here in awe of my own stupidity....and of your strength. It must take one hell of a human being let alone a man to forgive me after the way I have hurt you over the last several months. Yes without knowing it but still for you to say "shit happens" like its no big thing?!?!? I hope my boys grow up to be like you.

Torn

Torn
I am torn between two worlds
I am torn between two lives
I am torn between two realities
I am torn between two homes
I am torn between two places where I am supposed to be.
One place is here with you Master not cause I owe you or anything like that its cause I love you And cause I love you I would do  just about anything for you. I know you dont feel the same and probably never will and thats ok with me.
The second place I lost partly cause of my greed, Southpark. You were right all along I should have fought harder to keep my family. I should have tried harder and now I fear its too late.
One more thing to say as if to give myself a weak a feeble excuse is this me leaving you felt/feels like I am betraying you to the very core.
Please understand now what happened today.
I love you Master always

Storm

Thru the rain and the storms I call to thee. Wanting my voice to be heard once again hoping this time by the right people. I wait for you arrival that never happens, life failed me once again. Even though I can see you n hear you, you can't hear me. I cry out for you louder than ever praying my voice in one way shape or form reaches you. Either audible or in my mind I pray you hear me or at least see me. Cause I know if you see me you know there is trouble coming. I am trying to warn you of the HUGE trap you are once again walking into. Why why why again and again do you repeat this bit of your life. You will never be able to rest and/or move on! 13th life means nothing if it NEVER ends and it wont cause you wont/cant stop repeating history damn it. 

tick tock

tick tock tick tock tick tock time grows short....for me and you. tick tock tick tock tick tock Its almost time for you to go home,Alpha. I already miss you.

Master n sub note

That blog was just a story I heard

Master & sub 1

The wolf sitting in his desk chair watching his sub take off her pants, she is whining she is hot. Before she can but her shorts on he calls her to him. "Yes Master"? she asks as she walks over to him. He reaches down and starts to play with her pussy. "Its all sweaty isn't it?" She leans down resting her head on his shoulder and says in his ear "Don't start something you cant finish" while reaching up his shorts and grabbing his semi-firm cock. He lets go of her pussy and sits back in his chair. She goes down onto her knees and pushes his shorts aside so she can reach his cock. Sucking on his cock and balls he starts enjoying it more. He groans in pain cause his stomach starts not liking where he is sitting. "You need to lay down Master" she says He agrees gets up from his chair and stripping off his shorts lays down on the bed. Knowing full well he is not 100% she asks permission to continue to suck him off. He nods and gets comfortable. She lays down on the bed in between his legs with her ass at his feet. She starts sucking his cock once again. He starts thrusting his hips making his cock do deeper into her throat. She pulls his cock outta her mouth and starts licking from the tip of the head slowly down his shaft, over his balls and down all the way to his ass hole. She starts sticking her tongue up his ass which for some reason makes her wet. He says to her "Get a towel under you and get up here". She obeys laying a towel under her as she lays down on the bed next to him. He lifts one of her legs up and slide his cock into her wet pussy and starts driving ti home. In this position she can finger herself while he is inside and fucking the hell outta her pussy. She fingers herself as he thrusts himself deeper and deeper into her. As she squirts all over him he digs his claws for the dragon part of him is coming out now into her thigh. He cums is a crashing event and his claws dig deeper into her causing just a hare amount of pain. As he finishes cumming inside her he shudders in pleasure as her cum runs down his leg.