Please

As the music group Five Finger Death Punch best put it “I am doing this for myself.”  Meaning I am sick of trying to make everyone happy because it will never happen. The world can not and will not see “eye to eye” on anything, and NEVER will.  Those that preach it don’t live it. Those that live it don’t preach it and so on and so on.  I am sick of not being me just to make everyone else happy so no more.  

Label::Chandler Reed

OK you are seeing allot of posts this the label Chandler Reed well these posts are more like messages I  cant say to his face.  I am a chickenshit sometimes.

I used to

I used to care what happened to you and I still do to a point. But there is no longer a crush involved. I hate to be this way but you are gonna get screwed if you don't watch out for you self. PLEASE go back to AL now while you still can

Confession and prediction

This is what WILL happen I hate to say this but it will.  {He comes to our door in tears.  “She took off with everything. I know she did not like you guys but I got over it. I am moving back home with my family.  My girls are gone her dad says he does not have a clue where she went, but I don’t buy it for a minute.  I just wanted to say sorry for all the shit she caused.”  “What do you mean she is gone with everything?” I ask him.  “She took everything outta the apartment, clothes, my dog tags, my navy ring everything.”  He replies.  “Hey um before you go dude, I need to say something, just don’t go have me thrown in jail for it alright?” I say. “No I wouldn't do that you guys didn't do that to me and I owe you for that one.” He says. “Well Amanda didn't take everything, ya know. I hate to say this but I had a feeling she was going to do this long time ago, so I may have taken I few things just in case I was right.” I reach into my pocket and give him his navy ring and one out of two of his dog tags.  “What, when, how?” he asks. “Hey you used to bitch about Ella and Ben never taking care of their stuff, and yet you don’t even realize your stuff was missing!? Ha.” }

forgiveness

I know we are supposed to forgive everyone for what wrong they do to us. But is there a line you dont cross? I know I need to and so does my other half to forgive someone but I know it wont happen. I wish I could make him forgive this person but I know it will not happen...my other half cant even forgive his family for crao that happend 15 yrs ago. I am doomed. I want him to forgive this person because I want them back as friends. Any suggestions?

Fears

Being in the line of work you are listening to what the people say must be hard. Who do you tell you secrets too? How do you deal with the darkness of their minds while you are trying to help them deal with it? Do you ever get scared? Do you ever think now why didn’t I think of that? I would be afraid of learning to much information on how to move towards the darkness we all have inside us.

Sleep

I don’t sleep anymore. No that’s not right I sleep by laying down and closing my eyes but I don’t feel like I slept the next morning. I dream mostly about you. I miss you as a friend. I wish things turned out differently. In the back of my mind I hear Scott yelling at me this is wrong not right. I need to stop all this wishing and just make things right. Or at least talk to you. “What are you afraid of? What’s the worst that could happen?” is what he is saying in my mind. Oh how I miss you two guys. Well I need to get over my fear and just talk to you.